Often when I think about where I am today in my life, I tend to get a little frustrated. For instance, I am not exactly where I want to be in areas such as relationships, business, and my home. This happens when I focus too much

Carole Blackburn - Life and Wellness Coach

When Enough Is Not Good Enough

Often when I think about where I am today in my life, I tend to get a little frustrated. For instance, I am not exactly where I want to be in areas such as relationships, business, and my home. This happens when I focus too much on the things I don’t currently have. Sometimes, I forget about the journey I have been on, and where I was almost ten years ago.

Why Is It Not Good Enough?

I believe this is something that we all tend to do. Why is it that we don’t cut ourselves a break when things are not going exactly as planned? I mean, things are actually pretty good for me. I have many wonderful friends and family who support me, and offer meaningful relationships. As well, I have developed and worked on my own business which has always been a life-long dream for me. Furthermore, I have a comfortable home that takes care of all our needs. So why is enough not good enough?

I know this is something that I currently work on with many of my clients. We all get so caught up in what we don’t have right now. Consequently, we forget about the life we have lived, and how much we have accomplished to get to where we are. I am guilty of that. Unfortunately, I really had to start from ground zero after everything was stripped away. The only things that were true and good were my two children, and the unconditional love of my closest relationships. I knew at that point, I had a choice. Either I was going to let that time in my life take me down, or I was going to dig in as hard as I could and start over. Brick by brick, the metaphorical house went up. This time with a solid foundation.

Good Enough Then and Now

I have been described as an achiever. I take that as a compliment, an attribute about myself that I take seriously. But often it has also been a detriment. An achiever can be so hard on themselves. Often it is self-imposed and unnecessary. If I really think about it, I have not used the best characteristics of an achiever to my own benefit lately. In fact, I have found myself feeling like I haven’t accomplished much, recently. What a shame to feel that way. Yet, when if I take a glance back over my shoulder and at the road I have walked, some may say that I have conquered so much. Yes, there were hard times and struggles. However, there has were far more successes.

What Did We Accomplish?

So why do I this to myself? Why do so many people I come across face the same thing? The answer is simple. We don’t approach attaining new goals the same way we did when we were forced to. Enough is no longer good enough. For instance, in May of 2010 I sat in my lawyers’ office facing the most critical time of my life. He had a very sobering conversation with me. Hence, it started the process of self-examination and rebuilding a new life. I had a checklist of things I needed to get done. Things that needed to happen in order to get back on solid ground, and to start over. And so the journey began. Years later, I can look at all of the steps it took to get to where I am today. Since then, and I can say that I have accomplished so much.

I hear the stories of people who all have their own journey, their own conquests. The rise and fall, and rise again. Those who now believe that they are restless where they are in life. Myself included. And as they tell their story, I can see that there is a moment when they catch themselves realizing just how far they have come. Look at how far I have come.

I realize that there is a difference with having enough, and wanting to push harder to further myself. But the moment I start to forget about the journey in which I came from, and take that time of learning for granted, I see things today, as not being good enough. It couldn’t be farther from the truth.

We live in a day and age where we are bombarded with what we don’t have. Instead, we need to focus inward and get clear on what we desire out of life. First, let’s look at what tools we already possess. Second, let’s appreciate the value of learning as we go. Finally, let’s move towards really achieving what we want.

Gratitude and Reflection

To break it down, it is really quite simple.

  1. Appreciate what you have, count your blessings and write your gratitude list.

  2. Start each day reminding yourself just how important you are and that you are destined for greatness and purpose. Reflect on the gratitude list!

  3. Plan your goals out carefully. Along with the busyness of life, factor in one meaningful thing you want to do for yourself each day. It can be anything from personal and/or professional steps towards a goal or understanding what you truly need to nurture your self-care.

  4. Don’t bottle in your frustrations. Talk to someone who can be a good listener. Even if they do not have all the answers. Just being able to voice your thoughts in a safe environment can take the pressure off.

  5. Reflect on your journey. Without reliving the past, think about milestones you have conquered, and barriers you have crushed, that got you to where you are today.

  6. Recognize that fear is the driving force behind anything that stops you from pressing forward. Turn fear into positivity. View your current situation as a challenge to mold yourself into being the person you want to be, with a greater purpose.

  7. Trust and love yourself.

It is okay to want more, to achieve more, and to set higher standards for yourself. Just remember, what you have accomplished is enough to get you to a higher understanding: that you are capable, and made to live out your purpose.

If you are looking for assistance and guidance in balancing what you wish to accomplish with the inventory of your accomplishments, email me at [email protected] or call 613-297-2925. I am a certified Life Coach who works with individuals who are looking to reach their goals and live their best life.