Holiday Emotions

Christmas can be such a magical time. But for some, it can be the most difficult time of year. Grieving the loss of a loved one, a painful relationship break-up, turmoil in existing relationships, and so on. Christmas and the holiday season can really elevate the internal struggle. You try hard to cover the pain so you are not bringing everyone down around you. Isolation seems to be the easiest way to cope. I am here to tell you that it is okay to feel what you are feeling. It is okay to tell someone like a close and trusted friend or family member how you are feeling. Recognize your feelings and that it’s tough.

Why do the holidays bring on such emotional turmoil for some? I know what I can share from my own personal experience. Nine years ago was my very first Christmas alone as a newly separated mom of two. This was the first Christmas that I was alone with my children, and the memories of every single tradition we had created as a two-parent family all came rushing back like a title-wave. It was heartbreaking. I felt alone and scared of an unknown future, all while trying to be as happy as I can be for my young children and my family. However, I really just wanted the holidays to pass, so everything can go back a distorted normal. Truthfully, I was not in the mood to celebrate and have family over. In fact, I struggled to shop for gifts and partake in anything Christmas.

Transitioning

But how healthy was that for me? How healthy was that for those who loved me and had to watch me grieve in this pain? It wasn’t. And if I look back now, a few things happened that holiday season. First, I accepted my pain. Second, I allowed my sorrow to come through and relied on my support system to carry me. Third,  I finally understood that what I saw on my children’s faces when we drove by a house sprinkled with twinkling lights, and the awe they felt surrounded by so many people that loved them dearly, was exactly what I needed to pour my focus and energy into. Finally, I heard laughter surround me and could enjoy the coming together of loved ones. That was the moment that I knew I had a lifetime of memories to build with exactly what I had around me.

Holiday Suggestions

There are many reasons that many people face sadness or depression over the holidays. I believe that when we are in that state, everything around us is amplified with Holiday Season chaos, and the commercial overload. It’s very hard to avoid it. For instance, it’s on the coffee cup we buy every day, the music we hear in any store we walk in. But, remember that this is just a season in your life, and a literal season for only this month.

No matter what your struggle is, and no matter what you are facing, there is HOPE. There is a chance to see a new way to live for today with anticipation and excitement. Just know that you will be okay. And as you gain your strength to manage through the season, know that you are not alone. Reach out to someone who will help you, even though the easiest thing to do is hide.

Here are some tips I hope you find helpful to get through the holidays.

• Take it day by day. Christmas is not what it seems to be from the movies. Everyone has something they are stressed or worried about. What you seem to think is perfect in someone’s life, probably has a mess hidden behind it.
• Do something for someone else. Spreading joy and helping someone in need takes the focus off yourself, and helps to make you feel good that you are making a difference in someone else’s life.
• Do something for yourself! Treat yourself to something you have always wanted to do or to buy.
• Call an old friend and make plans to meet.
• Accept the invitation for lunch, or dinner, or a get together.
• Be thankful for what you do have right now, and the good that already surrounds you.

Helpful Resources

If you feel like things are just too hard to cope with, please make sure you are in contact with your family doctor or a health care professional who can assist you, especially if you suffer from depression. There are many resources that you can contact or if someone you love needs help.

Distress Centre Ottawa and Region: 613-238-3311 or 1-866-996-0991 Service line is 24hr/7days

Mental Health Crisis Line Ottawa: 613-722-6914 or outside Ottawa 1-866-996-0991

If you would like to renew your outlook, find inspiration and motivation or set yourself on a plan to an unstuck you, then call 613-297-2925 or email [email protected] for more information and a Complimentary Consultation.

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