For so many reasons, the people closest to us, who think they may have our best intentions in mind, are not always being the support we need. Sometimes, it may not be deliberate. Often, it may come from a deeper issue of past hurts or experiences that impacted them in a negative way. As a result, they may offer advice or comment with a subconscious belief, which may not be the best advice you need to hear.
On the other hand, do you know someone close to you who always tells you exactly what you want to hear? For instance, that friend you go shopping with who tells you everything you try on looks fabulous. However, in reality, you feel like you may have entered the Twilight Zone, and suddenly it’s 1989 again?! How about the gossipy or dramatic friends and/or family?
We all want to have honest opinions, advice, and help that are come from a place of transparency, trust and love, from those around us. Of course we do! How do we decipher the truest intentions of someone close to us?
Here are some things to consider:
- Consider how a person makes you feel after spending time with them. For example, do you feel enlightened, energized and inspired? Alternatively, do you find yourself feeling depleted or discouraged? In fact, studies show that when we surround ourselves with like-minded people, who pour positive energy into the people around them, we, in turn, will do the same. Hence, we become uplifted. Our brain chemicals, such as serotonin, are doing all the right stuff we need to feel good.
- Trust your instincts. We all have an inner voice that talks to us. Trust it. There is a reason we have that internal dialogue with ourselves. If someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, those spidey senses will fire off, and bells will ring. That is your warning sign that something is not right.
- Relationships are a two-way street. It doesn’t matter if it’s your sibling, spouse, BFF, or mom. Most importantly, what you put into a relationship, you will (or should) get back. It takes two people to cultivate and nurture a good relationship. So, make sure you are getting what you need out of it.