Inner Circle Influencers

We all have those really close friends and confidants who we trust explicitly. But sometimes the relationship we have may not be healthiest one for us. Overall, the people closest to us have quite an impact on many aspects of our lives. You might not know how much of an impact until you really dig in.

Your circle of influencers are the most important relationships you will ever have. Therefore, surround yourself with people who can lift you up as a person (and vice versa) and not tear you down. Because they will feed your inner-self with the positive affirmations that you need. Also, they can make or break the life you have always wanted for yourself. Can you recall a person who never really supported you with decisions you made. Has someone pointed out negative things instead of encouraged you? If you think about it, how did it really make you feel? Probably not the greatest. Maybe it resulted in you not going for that job change you were thinking about for a long time. Were you reminded of all of the things that could go wrong, instead of really pursuing your dream?

The opinions and advice of the people closest to us are so critical to how we make certain decisions. In fact, what we really have to be careful about is how much we take the advice of others, and turn that into a self-determined final decision. Ultimately, negative or toxic relationships surrounding you could be sacrificing some of the biggest choices you have to make in life.

Filtering

For so many reasons, the people closest to us, who think they may have our best intentions in mind, are not always being the support we need. Sometimes, it may not be deliberate. Often, it may come from a deeper issue of past hurts or experiences that impacted them in a negative way. As a result, they may offer advice or comment with a subconscious belief, which may not be the best advice you need to hear.

On the other hand, do you know someone close to you who always tells you exactly what you want to hear? For instance, that friend you go shopping with who tells you everything you try on looks fabulous. However, in reality, you feel like you may have entered the Twilight Zone, and suddenly it’s 1989 again?! How about the gossipy or dramatic friends and/or family?

We all want to have honest opinions, advice, and help that are come from a place of transparency, trust and love, from those around us. Of course we do! How do we decipher the truest intentions of someone close to us?

Insights and Tips

Here are some things to consider:

• Consider how a person makes you feel after spending time with them. For example, do you feel enlightened, energized and inspired? Alternatively, do you find yourself feeling depleted or discouraged? In fact, studies show that when we surround ourselves with like-minded people, who pour positive energy into the people around them, we, in turn, will do the same. Hence, we become uplifted. Our brain chemicals, such as serotonin, are doing all the right stuff we need to feel good.
• Trust your instincts. We all have an inner voice that talks to us. Trust it. There is a reason we have that internal dialogue with ourselves. If someone is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, those spidey senses will fire off, and bells will ring. That is your warning sign that something is not right.
• Relationships are a two-way street. It doesn’t matter if it’s your sibling, spouse, BFF, or mom. Most importantly, what you put into a relationship, you will (or should) get back. It takes two people to cultivate and nurture a good relationship. So, make sure you are getting what you need out of it.

Healthy Inner Circle

In the end, we should really try to understand what we want and need from those closest to us. As a rule, surrounding yourself with those who are genuine will benefit you the most in this journey called life. So don’t be afraid to talk to someone, if you recognize you are in an unhealthy relationship. Maybe the conversation will result in some things you may have never known about them, and where they are at in their own life.

But don’t forget, we are all human and definitely not perfect. Be your authentic you, and in turn you will attract your authentic inner circle.

If you have had or are in close relationships that you feel may have a negative effect on you and need some insight on how to best manage those relationships, please contact me at [email protected] or 613-297-2925 for your complimentary consultation. Together we can create the Inner Circle of highly effective relationships.

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